In the past 2 months, I've had both lice and scabies.... ahhh the joys of the elementary teachers. Assuming I contracted both parasites from one of my darling students, I thought I might "give back" by sharing some rantings. Here is what goes through the mind of a 2nd grade teacher who is hopped-up on Prednisone at 2:30 AM.
Top Ten ways to tell if your child's teacher might have scabies:
10. A note came home from school which reads "a case of scabies has been reported in your child's classroom...."; and the only person absent that day is the TEACHER.
9. Although your child's teacher is NOT a conservative Muslim, she suddenly comes to school dressed in a burka.
8. Your teacher adds the songs: Poison Ivy and Scratch That Itch to this year's spring musical.
7. On movie day, she plays "The Seven Year Itch" over and over again.
6. You notice that the petite flask of $30 hand cream which normally adorns her desk, has been replaced with a 72 oz. jug of Gold Bond Medicated Lotion.
5. You notice your child's papers are covered in a soft pink residue...... Calamine Lotion perhaps?
4. The weekly "circle sharing time" turns into a daily "back scratching circle".
3. All the other teachers send their most obnoxious students to your child's teacher for a nice long hug.
2. You enter the room for your parent conference only to find the teacher passed-out on her desk with an empty bottle of Benedryl in her hand.
and the number one way to tell if your child's teacher might have scabies...
her only request for this year's holiday gift is "that new back scratcher" she saw at The Sharper Image!
I hope you find this helpful and be looking for more "Rantings":)
